![]() ![]() As this picture clearly demonstrates, it was an objectively beautiful thing: ![]() As Elliott rose to prominence during the Buckeyes’ run to the title last season, his bare midriff became an inseparable part of his overall identity, reminiscent of a bygone era when running backs were the rock stars of college football. The quintessential example of modern bureaucratic overreach was at it again this offseason, sinking to a new low by outlawing Elliott’s majestic crop top. When it comes to creating farcical rules, no one, and I mean no one, can touch the NCAA. NCAA Fashion Police Ban Ezekiel Elliott’s Signature Crop Top in Shocking Display of Sartorial Ineptitude While a bit gratuitous, Sharp’s below-the-belt potshot is the closest we’re going to get to watching these schools face off for the foreseeable future, so for that he deserves our undying gratitude. When asked if the Aggies would eventually follow suit, A&M chancellor John Sharp responded with a vicious burn, sending shockwaves from College Station to Austin that are reverberating to this day:Ī&M chancellor Sharp on alcohol at events: "Our athletic program has not reached the point where we require the numbing effects of alcohol." The latest example of this occurred in June, following Texas’s announcement that it would begin selling beer and wine at football games, reversing its longstanding alcohol-free policy. If you were among those devastated by the demise of the Texas–Texas A&M rivalry, take heart in knowing that the Lone Star Showdown continues to play out in the form of passive-aggressive administrative bickering. Texas A&M Bigwig Eviscerates Texas’s Football Worth With Alcohol-Related Jab (NOTE: With the exception of the aforementioned kettlebell incident, which deserves a goddamn feature film adaptation, we’re avoiding any instances of criminal activity, because otherwise this blog post would be 10 times longer and 100 times more depressing.) 10. So, as we transition into preseason camp, let’s celebrate the drama the only way I know how: with some totally arbitrary power rankings! Thankfully, we were blessed with a particularly eclectic assortment of controversies this offseason, ranging from obscure NCAA violations to a prominent rapper/business mogul accused of assaulting UCLA’s strength and conditioning coach with a kettlebell. Whether that drama is authentic or contrived is irrelevant - its existence is all that matters, because any sort of controversy is enough to sustain the offseason news cycle for at least a few days, by which time another controversy will likely have materialized, thus starting the cycle anew. Because college football features a cruelly protracted offseason, fans require a heavy dose of off-field drama to survive the lean months between January and September.
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